饥饿--天天笑话集

口香糖小刚有个口头禅，张口“他妈的”，闭口“他妈的”。有一天，他嘴里有点苦涩，到糖果店问营业员：“他妈的，糖有吗？”营业员见小刚人小，也没在乎便微笑他说：“有，你要买什么糖哪？”“他妈的，你介绍介绍哪种糖好吃。”营业员摇摇头说：“像你最好吃口香糖。”....... 结婚证书

夜光表John在晚上造访Mary，聊了一会后，John提出了他的请求：“亲爱的，你不介意我把走廊的灯关掉吧！”Mary很快的说：“当然不！我不介意！”他又禁不住要求道：“再熄掉我们头上的灯好吗？”“随你！”Mary再度答应。“亲爱的！”他兴高采烈的说：“再把床上的灯关掉好吗？”“你怎么说都好！”Mary此刻的心情很愉快，因此答应John的每一个要求。黑夜中John抬起手对着Mary说：“你瞧！....... 夜光表

亚西比德亚西比德（公元前451--前404）是古希腊的一位了不起的政治家。”一天，他同比他大40岁的佩里克莱斯大谈如何才能治理好雅典。可老佩里克莱斯对此并无兴趣。“在你这个年纪，我也是像你现在这么说话的。”他冷冷地对亚西比德说。“哦，那时我要能结识您该有多好啊！”亚西比德回答说。....... 你在想什麽？

口吃从前有叁姐妹长得如花似玉，唯一的缺点是叁姐妹都严重口吃。有位媒人受王员外之托，要去证实叁姐妹是否口吃。事先作母亲的千交代万交代的告诉叁姐妹媒人来的时候不要说话。媒人想不出如何逗叁姐妹说话，看到花园的夜来香就说你们家的韭菜花开得真漂亮。大姐实在忍不住，就笑着说:真..真..真好笑，夜..夜..来..来香竟看..看成韭..韭菜。二姐就说:你..你..你..娘不..不..是叫..你不..不能......... 口吃

厕所偶遇钱某，一日在酒场上不胜酒力，迷迷糊糊中误入女厕，在隔间呕吐，此时一女士入厕小解，钱闻其小便声误以为有人在倒啤酒，怒道：“我早就说过不喝了，谁又在倒？”女士闻言吓了一跳，遂憋住小便，欲待钱走了以后再解，未曾想竟憋出一个屁来，钱先生闻之大怒，用手重重拍着隔板，大声斥责道：“我说过不喝了不喝了，谁又启了一瓶？谁启谁喝！”

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